Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize
