Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
