i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
