I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
