just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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