Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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