They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
