Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
ugly people sure do ruin things
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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