I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize