dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
