but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
