My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Lo siento on account of my penis...
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
