Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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