sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
