I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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