plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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