The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
