D3 body, D1 cock
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
