She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My dick has a subreddit
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
