perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you traded sex for a burrito?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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