You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize