2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
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