We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
