the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
