Only a mothe r could love this liver
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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