Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
