O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
