Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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