I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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