New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
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