i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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