guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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