I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize