I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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