then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
