Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
