ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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