girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
