It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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