dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
handjob tips. give me some.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
