This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
