none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize