My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
