I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
