you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
