69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
