my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Randomize
