Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
