when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
