I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
