Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
