if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
