The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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