I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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