kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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