waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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