Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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