i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
