this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
