Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Randomize
