before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
