I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
