a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
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